Tuesday, April 29, 2008


We have a (fairly-)big screen HDTV in our living room. TV is every bit as important to DH as my computer is to me. A couple of years ago we got a new HDTV. When it is on -- and working correctly -- it does have a beautiful picture. I will grant it that. But, then, so does my computer and the latter is not nearly as much trouble. (At least not when I don't have it all screwed up because of something bone-headed I did to screw it up.)

One problem with the TV is that we have had numerous problems with the cable. Varmints keep digging it up and eating through it or neighbors keep splicing into it. I am not sure which it is, but more often than should happen for what we pay for the service, everything goes haywire and the Cable Guy has to come out, dig around in the yard and declare that he replaced the damaged cable. (I'm never sure I really believe that, but DH loves the Cable Guys and believes every ludicrous thing they tell him.)

The other problem is that we have two separate remotes to operate the TV. I absolutely believe that we should not have to have two separate remotes for the TV. I have to believe if it was set up correctly, we would be able to operate it with one remote. Obviously, I am wrong because the Cable Guys have dictated we need two remotes, therefore it must be true.

That is a problem for me. I can manipulate complex computer programs. I can juggle multiple complex work projects at the same time. I can work and maintain a home and do community service work simultaneously. I can create entire worlds and write complex novels that require concentration and focus. I even learned to program a VCR (until we got a DVR and DH learned to program it) and to use the various functions on my cell-phone.

I cannot, however, operate the fucking TV using two different remotes.

Whenever I try to so much as change the channel, I get confused over which remote to use for which function and I cause everything go haywire. Instead of new channels, I get grey fuzz. Can't change the channel or operate any other button on the remote. DH has to call the Cable Guy to talk him through fixing it. I am sure the Cable Guy thinks I am a total and complete IDIOT ... and he would be totally right.

It is not rocket science, but I absolutely cannot manage two remotes.

What happened to the days when you got up off your dead ass and turned the channel button on the TV? Often you had to adjust the antenna, too, but basically, there was one nob, or maybe two. There were not multiple remotes, each with many buttons. I could handle that. I didn't even mind getting up off the couch and walking across the room to change channels. At least I didn't knock out the TV and require a call to the Cable Guy every time I want to change the channel.

I hate having a TV that makes me feel like a damned moron.

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